we're up we're down. we're happy we're sad. nothing's for sure anymore.
i'm scared i'm safe. i'm lonely i'm free. and i can't help but miss 6 months ago.
i'm old i'm  young. i'm thin i'm big. so why the rush?

take a leaf of paper and draw your mind.
your bourbon brown that can burn my eyes.
i lost your presence underneath the bridge
lock the door, let's talk it out
against the wall, hands on my mouth
could this be it, is it really over now?
you wore a pink t-shirt and khaki pants
you played your songs and danced your dance
i unwrapped your presents underneath your feet
nine to eleven you're getting weak
the tile is cold, I can barely speak
and I think he's gone, but I'll be sure for safety's keeping
if you say no, then no it will be
i'll stick it at our skin, pierced with colly strings
Just play it cool yeah, and try avoid being seen
wll yeah I saw inside the mirror and your smoking gun
aong in the sign, the hours, the subscribing one by one
and I fell so fast in Seth Ott's bedroom
you said you saw it coming but you didn't see nothing
your eyes are on the living room your eyes are on the closet
don't worry about, don't worry about anything
a pity invitation to an awkward house,
for pseudo-boy who would rather wear a blouse,
i sincerely saw your skin for the very first time
my curly hair and a voting booth
confessingly, this is the first time I've loved you
and God I mean, God I mean it, I hope that I mean it
'cause like dying young, idols got the best of me
don't stop calling.

you're the reason I love losing sleep.

at last, everything i meant to come out has.
with my head back on my shoulders, and my heart on my sleve.
i'll scream till theres no breathe left in me.
but you still won't hear.
you are so broken.

i've found my place to escape to. it's a suttle entailment i realize as i sink into the walls and couches of the house and let the music and the people take me away. i can't describe the pleasure i get from these nights away from everything and everyone i know. where i go to a completely new environment and soak in the energy. it's the greatest feeling.

Why is it no one's happy to know that I'm in love?
Is it out of jealousy?
Why is it I can't walk out my front door without some bimbo in oversize sunglasses and a mini skirt sticking her nose up to me?
Is it hatred?
Why is it I can't be happy one day and know that where I am is where I want to be?
Is it confusion?
Why can't I find my heart in God anymore, but I can find it everywhere else?
Was it ever real?
And why the hell isn't their any alcohol in the house?!

all this. and life is still good.